This morning I have cuddled my girlies extra much, just because. It feels like such blessing that just Maia and Lily came to us. Plain old us. Me and Mark. Mark and I. The Mamma and the Daddy. Today the world feels so much bigger that what we are, but these three incredible people are MY world. And that is bigger than any physical ball in the vastness of space. Like the infinity of space, its hard to comprehend just how BIG feelings can be towards your family, unless you go there. Experience it, soak it up, let it churn you around and spit you out, and come out shining and understanding from it.
To me, being a mother is no more a job than being me is. It feels easy, comes natural and is the essence of who I am. That does not mean that I dont find it hard, have times when I curse myself rotten for doing things ''wrong'', struggle with tantrums, little sleep and puzzling work and family life together. I cry with frustration sometimes.
I wonder, how much easier being a parent is when money is not an issue. When you a free from the constraints and pressures of having a job and earning a wage. To spend time with your children wholly and completely, not being on autopilot and multitasking by planning and puzzling things in your head at the same time as pretending to be a dog crawling on the living room floor. Being able to live in the here and now. Drink up the wonderful experiences that children give you. Yes, tantrums included. To be free to go on bug hunts, get ridiculously muddy, wet and happy playing in the pouring rain.
Remember how the summer holidays felt when you were a child? Endlessly fun, exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. Imagine that being your reality.
Do what makes you happy. Be the change that you want to see around you.
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