love you to the moon

I wonder sometimes, what kind of mother I am, and who I will be .Am I the housewifey type of mum? The cool mum? The strict? Lazy? Average? Neurotic? Embarrassing?

The Wilsons have had a stressy few weeks, with Daddio working everyay, including weekends, me with a tummy bug, kids full of colds, Mark with a high temp and bad cold, terrible two's, temper tantrums, sibling rivalry...I could go on.
Finally, we seem to be getting our vardag back. But what has become more obvious having spent so much time cooped up together is that I am most definately caught in the battle for attention between the girls, and questioning the methods and reasons behind my parenting style. Or whatever I am to call it.

I guess I've always gone with the flow...dear firstborn was an exemplary baby- sleeping and eating well, and not a lot of fussing. A chilled out, secure happy little individual. Which ofcourse, she still is. But now, Mamma's attention isn't focused on just her, and dear little sister takes an awful lot of  time away from all the fun we used to have.
I think now, as Lily is gaining more attention as she reaches more milestones, and blossoming more into her own person, the jealousy that has been pretty much non-existant has reared its sickly green head. Totally normal, be strange if it never showed wouldnt it. So many of you I'm sure, know exactly of what I am talking about. The horrid, grating feeling of never being enough for your children. Always feeling and thinking that one is missing out on something one way or another. Fab.u.luss.Not.

Like it isnt enough what life tends to throw at you just by being an adult and having a job, rent to pay and food to buy, all your own little niggles and inadequecies seem to get bigger by the tenfold when you throw the task of raising offspring into the equation- or is that just me??

Anyways, I am off to ponder some more on my parental abilites together with my pillow. I feel the post is rather vague, as I still havent reached a conclusion in my own mind as to what and how I am feeling about it all. I just would very much like it if someone could tell me a guaranteed way to make my girls know and feel that I am doing my best and that I love them to the moon and back a million times (even if at 2.4years and almost 6 months they are a bit small to truly comprehend the meaning of it all lol)

new'do

After 2.5 weeks I finally feel I am able to *finally* give a verdict on my new hair style...

Despite my occupation, I am one of those who is strangely attatched to ones hair. I dont tend to be extravagant and daring, but err on the side of caution and natural. But then, as a proffesional, that is MY take on hair. Hair to me, should be optimised and looked after, ''naturally'' enhanced to be its best and suit my clients wants, needs and expectations. Ofcourse, funky avante-garde hair is equally as fun, but me being who I am, a little but hippy, down to earth and liking things that are as natural as possible, its no real suprise that this reflects in my philosophy on hair.

So, the verdict is <drumroll>........ GOOD. It still ends up shoved into a pony tail, which I wanted to come away from, but it feels darned good having those poor lengths chopped and hair feeling healthy again. Problem with hair like mine that has been around a while, is that all the damage means that once I go back to being dark the colour has trouble staying put lol. Not a good look, when its not the effect you want....

like u can see, hair is different colours and its most certainly NOT the intention lol.

I cant quite believe it is friday today already, the week has just flown by! Today we're free to do whatever as all housework has been caugh up on the last few days, hence the silence lol. Also, very mucho excited to find out what the new Swedish little Prinsessa is called, an official announcement at lunch apparently. Who knew I was such a Royalist? I was made up yesterday when I found out, feel all proud and excited lol, much like I did when Wills & Kate got married.. =)

busy little bees

I am shattered. This day has by far been one of the busiest in a long while, like I've been making up for the lost days of illness last week.
It all went rather wrong before I even woke up. Dear hubster didnt get up when his alarm went off, which meant he couldnt wake me at 5.30am to shower and get ready before waking the girls. You see, we had an appointment at the hospital at 7.45am to check Maia's eyes, something we have to do now every 3 months until she is 14 I think. By the time I was woken up, it was just past 6am, and bejeezus, I had an hour to shower and get myself ready, wake and feed and dress two girls and be outside warming the car and scraping the ice from the windscreen.  And flippin' heck, I only went and done it plus an extra 10mins!? If the doors werent jammed shut, I recon I'd have had it in the bag. Superwoman that I am (for today only)


After the hospital, and thanks to my new found ability to drive on snow (last year I didnt drive between Oct-April) our darlings and I went a-visiting Linda, Adrian and Elias =) Cue several hours of organised chaos, with lunch, cars, running around and baking. At one point, Lily & Elias were sleeping and Maia & Adrian were chillin out on Linda's bed watchin the Lion King and we got to sink into the sofa, each with a well deserved cuppa. Amazing. Two 2 year olds, and two 6months, and we had a cuppa in peace? Whoah, talk about accomplished ;)

 Would you believe me, if I then told you we actually managed a tantrum free trip to supermarket with 3kids in one trolley? Y'know, whilst the goin's good, just keep at it- or however it goes lol. Now, it is far past my bedtime, if it wasnt for the 2large Ikea bags of ironing that I also did, I'd be happily snoozin already. Well, that is enough domesticating and superwomaning it until March I think. How can people live their lives like it??

right now...

...Maia is playing mechanic, and Lily is zoom-zooming around in her walker <3 Mamma Wilson is just about to start dinner and await Big Daddy arriving home from work

Mr.Adventure

Daddy Wilson has turned into Mr Adventure since our move. He's a rather fortunate chappy, leaving behind a monotomous delivery job, his doorman's job and all end of rubbish from previous rubbish employers. And he only has the ONE job now. Not two. Happy days!

The big pull for Sweden was the chance to do something different, to change our lives and get out of the rut we found ourselves in the UK.  My hairdressing job for one, offers all but double back what it was in the UK, and childcare, well, we pay ten times LESS than what we would have paid in Devon. And if I dare be as bold as to say, if I look at that the difference between nursery here and in UK, being here is going to have a more positive affect on our girls. For instance, do you know of any nurseries that would take the kids to the beach? Sledging? Iceskating? Picnics in the woods with a REAL fire to have hot dogs....?

Back to Mr Wilson then. Since coming here he has been on business trips to Riga, and sampled Latvian outdoor adventure life. He has become a Whitewater Rafting Guide. Gotten his snowmobile licence and done tours, a bit of dog-sledging thrown in for good fun. All the while getting paid. I'd be lying if I said I wasnt jealous!
Most recently, he assisted with some divers here working on the docks local to us, and at the end of the week he got to have a go with all the gear, and spent about an hour wandering the Baltic seabed under a sheet of ice. Pretty darned cool.

when bed is the sensible option

frick, frick and double frick!

I cant sleep. Or rather, I cant bring myself to go to bed. I'll just be laid there, listening to Mark and Lily snoring (both are full of the cold) and thinking of poor Maia in her bed all alone. I am quite tempted to hunker down next to her bed tonight. To just lay there, listening to her breathing, like I used to do when she was in the cot in our room. My little baby, she has gotten so big!

And still, she is so small. Too small, in my opinion, to have to be ill. Tonight I have this disconcerting, anxious feeling creeping all around my body from my toes to the ends of my hair. I keep going over and over the last four months since Maia first had her fall that caused her knee to swell up. I think back to how she all of a sudden started sleeping funny a month before Lily was due, having always been a fantastic sleeper. Always. Did it start then? Was she in pain? She could have been. She might be hurting in places, other than her knee and ankle right now. Just because its not swollen doesnt mean her joint doesnt hurt. But which one, if there is one?

I am thankful we can see a change in Maia this last week since she got her medication. Its just a darned shame she was too snotty to be put asleep yesterday in order to have her cortisone injections. Saying that, as it was with  me being poorly we probably wouldnt have been going in anyways what with the risk of infecting others (even now it seems Im the only one to have been ill, touch wood). She is sleeping better at least. She is recognising when she is in pain now, where she wasnt able to understand it before. Now she can tell us and point to where it hurts, as she gets its now, poor mite.  Like a lot of young children, a lack of understanding what pain is makes it hard for them to say what is up. They just get on with things, just like what Maia did. Now when she wakes in morning she usually tells us her knee is sore and is qutie stiff when she walks.
We have an eye examination on monday, to check that there is no swelling there, which can lead to problems; another thing that is hard for small children to explain as they dont percieve it as their vision having changed and it being a bad thing, its just accepted by them. Makes you wonder really.

Anyhoo...I better get myself tucked up, else I will be useless tomorrow. But then, it is friday, so who really cares- the weekend starts once we wake up tomorrow ;)

Who says Romance is dead??

Me!! I do, I do!

Well,at least this St. Valentine's Day. There wasnt a card bought or made, no delicous, tenderly baked cake. Not even a whiff of flowers, or chocolates for that matter. Nothing.

Ok, ''nothing' exaggerates it slightly. Hubster cooked dinner, kiddies went to bed, and we curled up on the sofa each with a giant bowl if icecream topped with strawberries, bananas, sprinkles and nougat sauce. Sounds rather fab and cosy, but nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe we splurged on all the icecream toppings, but that isnt an unusual event at our place lol.

Anyhoo, something in the dinner or the dessert didnt agree with me.at.all. So, dear friends, a sleepless night was had, but not of the sort you would associate with Valentines. Today I am perkier, I've had a shower, Im actually wearing clothes, and my new hair is coiffed. And to top it all off, my long awaited parcel has arrived at the post office and is ready for collection. Ooooh and I bought a great pair of shoes the other day and I have another pair in my sights for tomorrow. Now all I need is for the blasted snow to start thawing and Spring to arrive and I can enjoy all my new purchases hehe. God it was an age since I last bought shoes! Yay for self indulgence I say ;)

sunny sunday-on a monday!

The best thing about having moved to Sweden, is the new attitude to the outdoors. Its something that has laid dormant for many years, ready to now be embraced and abused to the full. You know, a regular part of Maia's nursery life includes trips out to the forests to bbq sausages, trips to the sledging hill and outings to the beach. Its an appreciation that is ingrained from early on in life, and when swedes talk about nature, they talk about The Nature. Its a thing, a living  being, not just the surroundings. For example, as a comparison, its like in english 'house' isnt just 'house' , its THE house. Blah, rubbish example, but I hope you see what Im tryin to get at :)

Yesterday I didn't just jump on the crosstrainer and then write the day off. Nay, that was at the end of the day which is probably why I sucked so bad hahaha. Prior to that, we had a pleasant so called discussion (read me overreacting and throwing hissy fit ) over the sad state of our sofa that has washable covers that cant be washed unless you want them to shrink. So a perfect way to clear the air was to don several layers of clothes and head out in the stunning sunshine and hot trot it to afore-mentioned beach. Luxurious having it 7mins down the road!  Not to wish my life away, but please Spring, can you hurry up and melt the snow? Its been fun, its very pretty, and I even dare drive on it now, but I'd much like to have picnics and feel the grass between my toes. Thank you.

thanx google!

call me mrs motivator!

Today, I have painfully and utterly rubbishly ''excercised''
Some weeks ago, mother and I ( well I was there with her) snapped up a bargain crosstrainer for the kingly sum of £20. Ching ching! Now far be it for me to go criticising the sorry state this poor machine is in. After not seeing the inside of a gym for 4 years and having used two pregnancies as perfectly plausible reasons to be a bit more rounded, I'm most definately not in the happy gym bunnies and well fitting jeans club. But, I'd be suprised if this relic is actually younger than I. hehe. Did crosstrainers even exist in the 80s?? I might google that one later...

Anyhoo, painful and rubbish. About a month ago I managed 15mins before spluttering and struggling to bre  athe. Perhaps easing myself g-e-n-t-l-y into the work out would have been the best bet, but I went hell for leather from the word ''eugh''. ''GO'' is still far too optimistic for my state of mind when it comes to excercising.

This said, you have to start somewhere, and I believe I am like a car - that a good old jump start will better get me on the way, than some namby pamby half assed attempt at running whilst holding the wheel and your friend pushing the back. Maybe a VW beetle, of the vintage variety. Yea, that's what I am. What car are you??

Ok, so all joking aside, I am gettin into this now. All the walking and general housewifeyness has helped to shed the baby weight, but I'd be happy to see another stone/6kgs to go. At the mo, I am pre Maia pregnancy, bang on same. I guess its more of a toning and shaping issue than weight issue, and this time Im measuring and keeping track of cms lost around bum/tum/thighs. The rest Im not bothered about. Just the usuals ;)



Currently we are at:

Thigh 66cm

Hips 102cm

Tummy 97cm                                          Now the only problem is sticking with it... ;)

a favourite repeated

Though I would do a recap of the recipes from the old blog, of the quick and easy go-to's that never fail =) y'know, tis easier to have things one place lol 

Fika is both a Swedish verb and noun that roughly means "to drink coffee/tea/lemonade," usually accompanied by something sweet.

Definition
Fika is a social institution in Sweden; it means having a break, most often a coffeebreak, with one's colleagues, friends, date, or family. The word has quite ambiguous connotations and can mean anything from taking a break from work or other activities, to going on a date - always including something to eat accompanied by a drink, such as cookies, cakes and even candy. This practice of taking a break, typically with a cinnamon roll or some biscuits or cookies, or sometimes a smörgås or a fruit on the side, is central to Swedish life, and is regularly enjoyed even by the government.^[2]
Although the word may in itself imply "taking a break from work," this is often emphasized using the word fikapaus ("fika pause") or fikarast ("fika break"), with kaffepaus and kafferast, respectively, as near synonyms. Fika may also mean having coffee or other beverages at a café or konditori (a "patisserie-based coffeehouse").^[3]
Traditionally, fika requires sweet, baked goods, especially cinnamon rolls.^[4] According to Helene Henderson, author of The Swedish Table, one needs three items minimum to avoid insult to Swedish guests; "to impress, serve a variety of seven freshly baked items--and be ready to talk about the weather."^[1]
Fika is also combined in words such as fikabröd ("fika bread") which is a collective name for all kinds of biscuits, cookies, buns, etc that are traditionally eaten with coffee. Non-sweetened breads are normally not included in this term (even though these may sometimes be consumed with coffee). Fika is also used as a noun, referring to fikabröd and coffee combined.



I figured I'd share some of my recipes, and as we all know, I am not a Delia, Nigella or anything remotley resembling a master baker, BUT, these recipes work for me and if I can make them work I am pretty darn sure the rest of you can too! So, here goes...

Sockerkaka; aka sponge, literally - sugarcake.

225g butter ( usually the packet will have little measures by 50g on them so use that as a guide ;) )
3 eggs
2.5 dl sugar
4 dl flour
2 tsp (teaspoon) baking powder

Preheat oven to 175-200C and leave cake for about 30-40mins (if baking isnt your forte, like me, it might take some guessing as to which temp your oven works best with and then you know how long to keep it in for etc )

Easy peasy ; add all the ingredients together BUT melt the butter first! Doesn't matter what order you add them in, as long as the butter is melted hehe. First time I did this I couldn't quite work out how the cake was gonna turn out with lumps of butter in it...muppet me!

Once all ingredients are added together pour into a greased tin (having used butter) and put in your preheated oven for the required time. Me finds middle of the oven is our best bet =)


Kladdkaka; aka chocolate mud cake, literally gooey cake

150g butter
2.5 dl sugar
1 dl cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla sugar
2 eggs
2 dl flour

Preheat oven to 175C, baking time 12-14mins

Again, simples! Make sure you melt the butter and mix it all together and add to your tin.

The whole point of this cake is for it to be messy; hence the name gooey, and its pretty much a fail safe option and really is quick and easy to whip up and get in the oven ready for your second cuppa when you have guests around ;) Or, perfect to finish off after having guests for dinner as its always a luxury to have homemade dessert. Top it off with some whipped cream and maybe even some berries. We like just the cream. Dont over complicate ;)



Chokladbollar; aka chocolate balls, literally chocolateballs!...please, no Chef jokes ;)
100g butter ( ROOM TEMP, not melted this time )
1.5 dl sugar
3 tbs (tablespoons) cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla sugar
2 tbs water
5dl instant oatmeal


Mix the sugar and butter together first then add the rest of the ingredients. Roll into little balls and then, roll those little balls in pearl sugar/ coconutflakes / or those colourful little sprinkles and you are done!

Right this will make you around 35 balls or so. Amazingly good to freeze and defrost, so if you fancy being super domesticated, double all your ingredients and you shall have a nice stockpile for when friends and family pop over and they shall be oh so impressed!

If you want to spice things up you can exchange the water for coffee, or different liquoers =)






Happy baking everyone! Let us know how you get on =)

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priorities

My priority so far has NOT been keeping the house tidy today. Infact, tidying isnt even on the list. Cleaning however, is different, and the kitchen now looks better even if the rest of the house does not lol. But who cares! Me & my beauties are having fun today, and currently big'un is sleeping and little'un is playing next to me on the bed, as we are being cosy =)

Maia and I made some scones for our lunch, which were super tasty! Its a recipe I got from my friend Camilla, and its taken from an ooooooold cookbook that her gran handed down to her. The best bit about these scones is that the longest bit about making them is waitin for the oven to warm
up ;)

To make these scrumdiddliuptious scones you need :

• 4.5dl flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 50g marg/butter
• 2dl milk

Put the oven to 250C. Mix salt, flour and baking powder. Add the butter and kneed it with hands so its a bit crumbly. Finally, add the milk and stir it in and then kneed dough and make 4 round balls.
Put in oven for about 8-10mins. In mine I do 15 lol =)

Diagnosis

Today is going to be a sh!t day. No point in flowering it over.

My heart breaks for Maia. Having to deal with just a cold is bad enough when it comes to pulling at your heartstrings, but knowing that my daughter faces unknow amounts of pain, for what can possibly last for the rest of her life is different.
The diagnosis is, despite my negative attitude at the mo, actually rather good. Yes, she has JIA, but 2 out of 3 children more or less grow out of it. And so far, Maia doesnt actually seem to be suffering too bad. So maybe I am being over sensitive, maybe I am not. However, I do think I am allowed to feel however the hell I want, so sod it, I will.

I am glad that Maia doesnt appear to be in much pain. Yes, her broken sleep and waking up through the night might be down to her knee and ankle hurting, or it could be just a phase, or just a simple thing as a lot going on in her head in the way of dreams as there is so much going on around her what with all the hospital visits,blood tests and what not. It is something that started about 2 months before her fall which we believe brought on the JIA (its common for trauma to a joint to cause JIA to flare up for the first time in small children). But just because we werent aware of anything prior to this, it doesnt mean she wasnt suffering. We have completely missed that her right ankle is slightly swollen, as its always been so obvious with her left knee. Her paediatric doctor also missed this, and it was only the specialist who spotted it on tuesday. So I'm not beating myself up over that one.

We now have anti-inflammatory and pain  killer to give her morning and night, and she is booked in next wednesday to have cortisone injections to her knee and ankle. Seeing as that is a rather painful thing, she will be put to sleep again, so we have another whole day at the hospital. Hurrah! I would rather that though, and maybe I will get a chance to read my book that is gathering dust on the shelf as its not been touched since Lily was born lol. Poor booky-wook!

Maia is home with me & Lily today, she's not quite 100% with this cold she has now caught. Hope it goes away over the weekend else Im not sure what will happen on wednesday. We had to postpone the MRI scan once as she was full of it and they dont want to put them under with a cold. Risk of complications and all that. So today I think we will make some chocolate balls as Maia really enjoys it. Ofcourse, on days like today, lots of cuddles on the sofa are obligatory, which I am sure will go a long way to mend todays heartbreak

under contruction

...as you can see, I am changing and adding a few things on the blog lol.

I'm finally happy with the header, but as I originally didnt give two flying figs to the thought about how W   I   D   E  the header needs to be, the photos are now blurred. Bugger. So yea, working on that one now. Hope to be done by the morrow!

Speaking of tomorrow, we are off to the hospital with Maia to see the specialist. Let you know how that one goes

master plan

Its astounding, the sheer brilliance of the sometimes  more childish ideas that I have. Even if I do say so myself. First of all, it is not just me that thinks it brilliant, but all that it involves. That is what makes it brilliant.Obvisously.

"Oooooh, this sounds interesting.." I hear you think. It isnt really. Its just a simple, if some what selfish (and selfless) idea. Camilla and Linda and kiddies (kiddies means sambos, en anglais boyfriends, too btw) and we were discussing sleeping. The all important hot topic of discussion whether your child is two days or 2 years. For some, sleep, is an ever evasive thing of the past, a much desired gem in the middle of the crown of parenthood, and nothing quite says success like a bairn sleeping soundly 12 hours a night.

For many weeks, MANY weeks, this is how Lily would sleep through the day. Layed up on my knees all wrapped up. Cosy cosy snug snug. Didums. Now, I still get her to fall asleep in the same position, but then I am actually able to carry her into the bedroom and put her into her cot. Hurrah! Just call me super-mamma! We never had sleeping issues with Maia as a baby, even when newborn. She much prefered her own space, and would settle herself to sleep. We could put her down in her cot and she would go to sleep, nap times and bedtime. We (read I) have been trying steadily to get Lily out of either the habit of rocking to sleep on my knees or sucking on my little finger. She still refuses a dummy and gets more than a little peeved whenever I try. Dammit, I dont give up easy, but now it just seems silly trying. Anyhoo, this evening she actually fell asleep herself after being put down into cot without rocking or finger sucking and there wasnt even any crying. Three cheers for me- Hipphipp hoo...oh ok then. Too much.

Now back to the stroke of genius. Linda's youngest is very much a snuggly baby and seeks comfort with mamma through the night rather than food. This as most of us will know, is a rather hard pattern to break, and when its silly o'clock in the night, we all do what we have to in order to get as much sleep as possible. Especially when poor Daddy has to get up to work and big brother/sister needs their sleep too. Sigh.
So, we are going to have a girly weekend, a big sleep over like the ones we had in our tweens! Linda, Camilla and I, along with Elias and Lily are going to hole ourselves up on friday night, armed with crisps, dip and sweets. Cook a nice dinner, drink some nice grown up drinks, do face mask or two and watch all the chick flicks we could want. Its heartbreaking listening to your baby cry when its being denied the comfort to get back to sleep, so me and Camilla plan to be the support system that dads sometimes struggle with, as we've been hardened in a way menfolk have not when it comes to the squeals of little ones. If we hadnt, we'd never survive our maternity leave, never mind having more than one baby?!  The big children and boys are to be making their own entertainment and having some quality time. I imagine it will be much the same but more beer, whisky and  gore in the films.

Hopefully, over two nights we can get a bit closer to problem solving and let Linda have some sleep. Its hard to appreciate the demands of breastfeeding for almost 6 months when at most I only managed 6 weeks. And I have been fortunate that both girls are good sleepers. Thank you higher powers that be. Broken sleep and an adorable little munchkin who hasnt an easy time at all settling without being on mummy must be hard.


Not like we need an excuse to revert back to good old girly ways, but I guess thats as good as any if you need one. See, I told you it wasnt THAT interesting ;)

another week gone

Tis incredible, the passing of time. Doesn't seem five minutes ago that I was getting out of bed and it is now 13.06pm. I could go all cliched and add to it that Lily has now reached the tender age of 5months and has had some porridge yesterday and today. But I wont. I shall just share with you a picture instead.

This week we've been pretty busy doing I dont quite know what. I cant tell you how domesticated we've been baking together. Or, that we have played Cinderella and cleaned the house to a dazzling level, or even been out playing with friends or hanging out at baby groups/coffee shops. Because we just havent. We have just been.

I actually went back to work on wednesday, and it was fun! The first hour I had a big knot in my stomach, wishing I was with Lily, chillin' out and waiting to go pick Maia up from nursery. But once I got my hands on my first client again, that was it. Bye-bye Mamma-Kim, Hello Kimberley. Hello ME.
Its quite funny really, I am using Kimberley as my ''professional name'' lol. Sounds seedy, but its simply a case of Kimberley being more exciting than Kim. Kim is unisex in scandinavia, and more common with guys. Yea, not very appealing eh.  People remember Kimberley, and my dears, I am building a brand you see. Its all about reputation isnt it. And standing out  from the crowd makes you more memorable. So they say.